


i got my swim trunks, and my flippie-floppies

by ElasticElla



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Birthday Sex, Blow Jobs, Boats and Ships, Established Relationship, M/M, shyanpositivityweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 02:46:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14684820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: All the way back in January, Shane decided he wanted to spend his birthday on the high seas. Which, admittedly, Ryan thought he meant getting high in a canoe notactuallysailing out into the ocean.





	i got my swim trunks, and my flippie-floppies

**Author's Note:**

> title/mood from the lonely island's i'm on a boat
> 
> written for the [shyan positivity event](http://lesbiancleophas.tumblr.com/post/173908084810/shyan-positivity-week-may-16-20-five-days), come join us \o/

All the way back in January, Shane decided he wanted to spend his birthday on the high seas. Which, admittedly, Ryan thought he meant getting high in a canoe not _actually_ sailing out into the ocean. The vast, expansive space they could so very easily be lost to forever. 

He definitely should not have been looking at all of those modern missing boats cases last week. If they do go missing now, some moron in thirty years is going to use his browser history to theorize that Ryan actually masterminded their exit from civilization or murder-suicide or something else horribly off and awful. (As if the show’s existence doesn’t do that enough for him, he thinks, probably too amused by it.) 

“What’re you thinking about?” Shane asks. 

“How everyone will blame me if we never return.” 

Shane bursts out laughing, “Big plans you forgot to mention baby?” 

“Oh yeah, you’re looking at the two latest citizens of Atlantis.” 

Shane sighs dramatically, “Y’know for my special day, I was hoping you’d spring for underwater area 51.” 

“I tried, you would not believe their waiting list.” 

“Alright, you can sit here now.” 

Ryan raises an eyebrow, “Yeah? We’ve achieved cruising emptiness or whatever?” 

Shane laughs, patting his lap, “Close enough.”

Ryan honestly has no clue how a sailing yacht works- Shane’s tried explaining it twice, but he was also messing with the sail then, muscles bunching under the sun and Ryan can only pay attention to so many things at once. (The second time around Shane ditched the shirt in favor of Ryan helping him with sunscreen, and Ryan is fucking _positive_ Shane’s picking these moments on purpose.)

He still doesn’t know how Steven convinced the yacht sellers that he should be trusted with millions of dollars worth of product, but he isn’t complaining. He’s also more comfortable that they took the ‘cheap’ and small one out, worth a measly three hundred grand. It still has a decadent evil feeling to it, very Bond villain. 

Which probably makes him the femme fatal love interest, hips swaying with the waves as he joins him, sliding onto Shane’s lap. 

“Hey sailor,” Ryan teases, and Shane kisses him, deep and fast. His lips are chapped and salty from the ocean wind, and Ryan keeps licking them. Shane presses up against him, vertigo and adrenaline spiraling as he falls back, and then he hits the steering wheel and the boat swings left. 

“Fuck,” he mutters, and Shane’s laughing, correcting their course. “Why does it even _have_ a steering wheel?” 

“It’s because-” Shane begins with his history explanation voice. 

“Oh shit, are we gonna hit someone?” Ryan suddenly asks, twisting around to look.

Shane snorts, “Cruising emptiness Ry.” 

And birthday boy or not, that tone is way too smug. 

Ryan smiles, saccharine sweet, “Good.” 

“Why do-” Shane begins to ask, eyes going wide as Ryan kneels before him. 

He’s tempted to draw it out, make him beg before he even touches him. But it is Shane’s day, and more pertinently perhaps, the hardwood floor under his knees is already uncomfortable. 

Licking his lips, he pushes Shane’s shorts down, the elastic under his balls. 

“Shit baby,” Shane says, already sounding wrecked. 

Ryan smirks, tracing up and down his dick softly. “Eyes on the ocean big guy.” 

“You can’t-”

Ryan swallows him down at that, the first not-quite soft five inches easy, just knocking against his throat. His left hand squeezes the base, and Shane’s hips shiver as the dick hardens in his mouth. 

“-tell me what to do,” Shane finishes lamely, pressing his hands against the tops of his thighs to keep them stable. It’s a sweet thought, for now anyways, and Ryan brings up his free hand to lace with Shane’s. 

He moves his head up and down, sloppy and loose, spit gathering on his fist. Ryan pulls up, hand lazily covering his cock with spit. 

“Two taps to tap out, yeah?” 

Shane nods rapidly, “Yes, yes please.” 

Ryan can’t help a fond chuckle at his excitement, shifting his knees in an attempt to get more comfortable. 

“A lesser person might be offended at their paramour laughing in front of their genitals.” 

Ryan laughs harder, squeezing his dick, “Yeah ‘cause you’re self-conscious of this monster.” 

Shane gasps, “A _monster_? Oh my stars, how dreadful, how very-”

Ryan moves his hand and sucks down as far as he can. 

“-per-fect, fuck babe.” 

There’s still a few inches left, but it’s a special occasion, he’s getting them dammit. He rocks forward and back, going with the boat’s motion. He chokes a bit, and fuck the water gathering in his eyes is already dripping due to the wind. But then he’s bumping against wiry hair, and his throat is overfull, breathing through his nose too shallow. 

Shane’s fingers trace over his neck, over the bulge, “God Ryan…” 

He swallows once before moving up fast, Shane’s hips making tiny rapid thrusts in his mouth. He looks up to meet Shane’s eyes, and Shane squeezes his fingers. Ryan squeezes back, sucking faster now that the end’s near. And as if summoned by the thought, Shane groans loud, coming down his throat. 

Ryan swallows mostly because it’s practically already in his stomach, but Shane trembles all the same, pulls him up back onto his lap. 

“Fuck that was incredible babe.” 

“Mhmm, happy birthday,” Ryan says, cuddling into his chest. There’s no real reason to be tired, but an impromptu nap in Shane’s lap and under the sun sounds fantastic. 

Shane’s hand brushes against his cock, “And for you?” 

“Eh, I’ll ride your dick next.” 

“If you’re sure,” he says, petting his hair. “That could take an hour.” 

Ryan snickers into his shoulder, “Got that old man refractory period.” 

“Yeah, yeah- huh.” 

“Huh what?” 

Shane rubs his neck, “I’m not sure where we are.” 

“ _What_.” 

“Nah, like there’s a navigation system. We’ll figure it out.” 

Ryan huffs, rearranging himself. “We’re not joining the crab people Shane.” 

“Of course not!” Shane exclaims. “Joining? Really babe, it’s like you don’t know me at all. We’d rule over those crustaceans.”

“With seaweed crowns?” 

“And barnacles, very couture.” 

Ryan laughs, “We’ll be the most fashionable crab royalty.” 

“Now you’re talking,” Shane says, grinning wide and god, he loves this idiot.


End file.
